My ex boyfriend is dating an ugly girl
Then you have two selfish, destructive, immature jerks to contend with while trying to nurture and protect your kids.
This phenomenon is described in When Crazy seeks to replace you, she will usually: 1.
Abusive women and men, especially personality disordered women and men (Sociopaths, Narcissists, Borderlines, Histrionics, High-Conflict People – henceforth known as Crazy) do not do closure. It is also difficult to let go of Crazy because of the high degree of ambiguity this kind of relationship creates. How could she move on so quickly when you’re still grinding through the loss and trying to make sense of everything? This type of woman repeats the same behaviors over and over again in her relationships.
She has a script in her head that she force fits new partners into whether they like it or not.
If and when they ever wake up and realize they’re being abused, they start looking for answers. They begin to understand that no amount of patience, love and understanding will end their wife’s or girlfriend’s abuse, they cannot “save” or “fix” Crazy, that they have issues of their own to address – particularly their willingness to tolerate abuse in a love relationship – and that it is necessary to have personal boundaries and limits in love.
Some men, sadly, will get bad advice from female-biased, enabling/apologist therapists, ministers, family and friends to be even more patient, understanding and vulnerable with their abusers and, essentially, to continue to allow their female abusers to keep abusing them and their children. Downgrade to another professional victim/abuser/loser. Sometimes, this manifests in the classic narcissist-borderline pairing, which actually works.
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They deserve one another and you deserve much, much better.