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They do not have to answer, as we’re all doing our best.But if some information about how the Tinder algorithm works and what anyone of us can do to find love within its confines is helpful to them, then so be it.That is the joy of being a grown-up, not a teenager. Decide that you will go on one date each with 10 different men.We can choose to get to know more than one man at a time. If you find you like one person enough (and he you), then decide to pause after the 10 dates while you see if he’s a keeper.The third is to take my advice, which is to listen to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher and never pursue more than nine dating app profiles at once. A few years ago, Tinder let Fast Company reporter Austin Carr look at his “secret internal Tinder rating,” and vaguely explained to him how the system worked.
When he dropped me off, I said I would see him for the concert and joked, “unless I get a cowardly email” (women’s intuition! His email arrived at midnight and began with “Well, here’s the cowardly email….” Sure, I felt stung, but I took him up on his offer to use the tickets; I took my sister with me to Pearl Jam and we rocked a girls’ night out. Going out a couple of times does not mean you are “going steady”!
On top of that, only 5 percent of people in marriages or committed relationships said their relationships began in an app.
Which raises the question: Globally, more than 57 million people use Tinder — the biggest dating app — but do they know what they’re doing?
The first step is to understand that Tinder is sorting its users with a fairly simple algorithm that can’t consider very many factors beyond appearance and location.
The second step is to understand that this doesn’t mean that you’re doomed, as years of scientific research have confirmed attraction and romance as unchanging facts of human brain chemistry.